AAAAAARRGGGHHHH!!!!! I’ve rarely been more frustrated. I had just made a lengthy post. I had to edit to correct a minor mistake. I saved once after editing and then saved again, just to make sure. The second time I saved, the post had loaded only half due to my excruciatingly slow connection. This tiny fact had completely slipped my notice . After saving, I closed the tab. And THEN I noticed only half the post was there in the blog. It was too late to do anything. And guess what. Yeah, I had no other copy, I had not used Word, I had typed it in WordPress itself. Now, a night’s work is fucked. And I don’t have the energy to do it again. Not now.

So what did I learn?

• Always type the post in MS Word first. Or at least have a copy saved in it.
• Skim through the post before saving.
• Do not save repeatedly, without need.
• Be careful while closing tabs.
• BSNL screwed me!!

I’m sure you’d have heard umpteen times how Dr.Ambedkar(or was it someone else?) studied beneath streetlights since his home didn’t provide a conducive atmosphere to study. Seems like that is a prerequisite for becoming one of the truly great. There are numerous chaps who have utilized streetlight, candlelight, whatever frigging light they could lay their hands upon, to put one over us, the teeming millions of well-provided yet lazy buggers to come forth in the later centuries. They were  screwed by life, they battle life( Cliched, isn’t it?) and they emerge victorious , discovering things, proving theorems, founding nations, whatever they felt like doing!! So, there seems to be a notion among parents that those of us who study(or pretend to study) under tube light are going nowhere unlike the heroes in the stories they are fond of reciting at us, who used those other lights to read and turn overnight into Giants. Well, I am pleased to announce that I am destined to be a giant of our times, by this yardstick of using-other-lights. You’ll see how, soon .

Engineering students among you will know that Kerala University’s most brilliant money-making scam is named ‘Improvement’. Once the results are out and the usual round of head-shaking and incredulous glances are over, next comes the mad rush to apply to ‘Improve’. There are 4 kinds of applicants -

1) The guys who know they won’t appear, but are doing it just for the sake of applying.

2) The guys who are not sure, but might as well try and improve if lucky.

3) The guys with rather low marks due to lazing during the regular exam, and who are determined that THIS time, yes surely THIS time , they will study their asses off and bloody IMPROVE.

4) The guys who have good marks , but get low marks in 2-3 subjects and are looking to bolster their GPA by whitewashing those blots off their marklist.

Me, I might as well put a thumbnail pic of mine ,beside the third category. I am the perfect example for it, because I’ve gone through the exact phase , after two out of two results. And you know what, things never bloody improve.

The reason Kerala University loves Improvement exams is that out of the 100 guys who applied, less than 20 turn up. Apart from odd members of the third and fourth categories mentioned above, the others scoot. Reasons may range from engagements with higher priority, pure laziness and the delight of a free day, not to be ruined by flunking an exam, for which no one bothers to study anyway. So, the K.U saves money, a lot of it. And even more when the Improvement comes in proximity of a regular exam of the current semester. Next to no one turns up, then.

This time around, all improvement/supplementary exams were sandwiched between s4 papers for us. Which kept the improvement-hopefuls away and God save those who had a supply.

So, to cut a short-story-made-unnecessarily-long-by-me short, I had applied to improve Logic System Design. One of the high-scoring papers, I had messed up in the regular exams getting a meagre 44 while both of my roomies scored around 80. So, in one of the resolve-to-change-your-life bouts after the result, I had promised myself I’d improve it. And that’s why I stuck to my decision, while my co-applicants refused to touch LSD with a ten-foot-pole as the exam neared. And the reason? LSD fell the day before the dreaded DSPM - Data Structures and Programming Methodology - was scheduled.

DSPM is a bad-ass paper even by normal standards. To say that it’s toughness was compounded by absolutely inept teaching would be… erm, partially true. Coz, it’s toughness WAS compounded  thousandfold. Not by inept teaching though. Because we weren’t taught ANYfuckinTHING at all. So, here I was , or most of us were, 2 days before the exam, and ‘Tree‘ still brought to my mind Acacia and Banyan trees, and ‘Graph’s were still only used in maths and ‘Linked List‘….. You get the picture. And the previous year’s questions might as well have been in Chinese, for all I understood.

So, while everyone was panicking about DSPM, I did not back off from improving LSD because I thought the subject was easy and I knew it. I opened DSPM the day before LSD and ended up studying nearly nothing at all. As night neared , panic crept in, I had 2 exams in 2 days and I had no idea about the tougher subject and hadn’t studied the easier subject. I started reading LSD, but got sleepy pretty soon. Which was not a good thing coz I’m a night person. And I’d two and a half modules ( out of 3 :D) yet to finish .But there was no arguing against drooping eyelids and I hit the sack at ten, setting an alarm to wake me at 3:30.

I woke up at 3:30. Pitch black.Negotiated my way in between chairs and nasty-if-stepped-on oddities on the floor and reached the lights. Switched it on. Pitch black. Wait a minute. Panic started to rise. I pressed down harder on the switch. Still Pitch black. Realization dawns. The fan which I always leave on at full speed , was dead. And it was pitch black AND pin drop silence. I could hear the guys sleeping in the next room breathe. So, KSEB had screwed me. Royally. No current at three effing thirty in the morning. With the weather perfectly fine.

I thought, no big deal. Being the power-cut season, there was bound to be a set of candles somewhere. I searched in the dark, and sure enough , my hand struck wax. Thank God. No, wait. The candle was of no use without the lighter and it could be anywhere in a big dark house. Must have been ages since I saw the lighter, we always lighted our candles from the candle Aunty (Our house-owner who stays in another wing of the same house)  lighted and placed in the kitchen. So, I went lighter-hunting. No luck. Soon the ruckus I raised during the hunt, woke my friends up, who categorically declared that the lighter hadn’t been sighted in weeks and that I was screwed and that I’d better get back to sleep and that I was screwed, again.

I was in a tight corner. In CET slang, adichu kitti/ thechu kitti / thuppi kitti/… etc etc . College slangs are always rich in terms to describe messed up situations, aren’t they? Maybe that’s coz we’re perenially fucked up one way or the other in college. :D. Well, whatever, I was THE desp. I hadn’t touched DSPM to try and improve LSD, and now LSD was going down the drain. And I’d resolved that I WILL write this exam.

So, I was desperate. When you know what I did, you’ll know just HOW desperate. Ladies and Gentlemen, I studied under the backlight of my Nokia 6230i. Yeah, mobile phone backlight. :D. My faithful phone which had served me in many odd situations rose to the challenge with its life-saving sheen. The light was barely enough. It was arduous work,lighting each para of the Morris Mano with the phone ,the light moving with the eyes and pressing the red button every time the light died(after some time, I opened an mp3 file and kept the phone at low volume so that I wouldn’t have to keep on ‘refreshing’ the light).

So, the gravity of the situation and the thought of the extreme measure I took(You can’t sleep soundly, knowing your attention is capable of straying from a book when you’re trying to read it by mobile backlight)  kept me at it till 6.30, when it grew reasonably light outside . Then I went outside and read till 8.30. I was quite proud - oddly - to declare the extremes I would brave, to study. Roomies shook their head incredulously and declared I was a nutter. True.

Image courtesy: www.howardforums.com

So, I had crammed reasonably well, though I skipped some parts. And the exam turned out okay-ish, the kind of exam where you know things but still doesn’t feel very content upon exiting the hall. I believe I did reasonably well, to improve my marks by at least 10-12. Time will tell, with ample say for the university , of course.

So, hark, all you losers, make way for me, the true great of tomorrow’s world who braved the adversities life threw at me, by studying under mobilelight. I would bet, tomorrow would see your children learning how Abdul Raouf struggled in his childhood , before he reached the self-promised land of Greatness. Kidding? Time will tell. And again, with ample say for the university.

Old-timers and the pseudo-intellectual class may look down their noses at ‘Harold and Kumar’ with disdain. But I have to say both the films, White Castle and Guantanamo Bay sits pretty high in my list of top comedies. Uproarious fun for 90 minutes, each of them, and ravages many social/racial stereotypes.

I watched Harold And Kumar : Escape from Guantanamo Bay quite recently. Which I feel, has better laughs than The White Castle , though critics feel otherwise. I recommend this to everyone who doesn’t mind some good fun, however illogical it maybe.

However the real reason I am doing this post is not to recommend the movies to you lot, but rather to appreciate this poem in H&K 2. The poem is titled ‘Square root of Three’. A very odd title for a poem,yeah, but the poem is odder still. I really really liked this one, and also, the situation it graces in the movie. The poem was written by David Feinberg , a guy whom the directors of H & K went to highschool with. Math and poetry are an odd combo. I’ll bet they have never come together in such beauty ever before.
So, here goes, With due respect to David Feinberg and hoping I am not infringing upon any copyright laws.

I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed

Watch the video here -

Square root of Three

Bring me a better math poem, if anyone can .

This is my second tag, and once again given to me by Hari, the only guy who spares a thought for my blog. Pardon me for sounding martyred. I know it takes time to get a readerbase and my irregularity doesn’t help matters . I had wanted to post more this month , but the lazy fool I am, I put it off for tomorrows. And then I received this absolutely spiffing tag that I HAD to do this as soon as I got it.

The tag says :

Jot down 5 of your favorite quotes from the various books you’ve read/movies you’ve seen. If you don’t have the books with you now, Googling (Wikiquotes and the like) can be used to find them. Tag five people and acknowledge the person who tagged you.

These are not in any particular order. I am putting these down in the order they came to my mind.

1. “One of the reasons why we crave love, & seek it so desperately, is that love is the only cure for loneliness, & shame, & sorrow. But some feelings sink so deep into the heart that only loneliness can help you find them again. Some truths about yourself are so painful that only shame can help you live with them. And some things are just so sad that only your soul can do the crying for you”

- From Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts.

Shantaram is sheer poetry. Every other line is a quote. If you haven’t read the book, just check some of them out, here.  What you learn or realise about life from a convicted bank robber and heroin addict will astound you. I had such a hard time choosing my favorite quote from this book. There are concise and oh-so-true gems , and also, long and profound insights. It’s an awesome , awesome book. Many people give up on it saying it’s too long, but it isn’t. It is life. The most frank , beautiful and poetic portrait of it ever done. I feel so guilty about leaving out some of my other fav quotes from this book, that I will just slip one more in.

“Loves are like that. You heart starts to feel like an overcrowded lifeboat. You throw your pride out to keep it afloat, and your self-respect and independence. After a while, you started throwing people out - your friends and everyone you used to know. And it’s still not enough. The lifeboat is still sinking, and you know it’s going to take down with it.”

- Karla to Lyn. This is just so , so true.

2.

“All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,

A light from the shadows shall spring;

Renewed shall be blade that was broken,

The crownless again shall be king”.

- From The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien

Another of my favorite books. Tolkien was a genius. Had he lived now and released the LOTR to compete against the HP series , I believe the world’s favorite boy wizard wouldn’t have raked in a tenth of the money he did. The LOTR too has many noteworthy quotes or rather, ‘quoteworthy lines’ :P, though this is the best of them I believe. Aragorn is , to me, the best hero ever, in a fiction. Yet he doesn’t dominate the importance of other characters or scenes he is not a part of, in any way, which speaks volumes about the greatness of the book, I feel. The book has many poems, some sad, some merry but this is the most meaningful one of them all, since it encompasses an important part of the story in it. It’s so simple. It’s so great.

3.

“He who forsakes the trodden path for the new road knows what he loses , but not what he will find.”

I don’t remember exactly where I found this quote. The closest bet would be the very first page of The Godfather Returns, but as I said, I’m not sure and even Google can’t tell me it’s origin. . But I identify myself with it. I guess every troubled teenager with big dreams does, but I do it even more than others. Yeah. Sure. Trust me .

4.

“You’ll always regret the things which you didn’t, more than the things you did.”

- From a poster on the wall of some bank I visited with my father.

It’s ironic that I thought it almost impossible to select just 5 favorite quotes from the books I’ve read or movies I’ve seen, I just have to include this one, which’s from neither. I am someone who think about things for too long before I do them, and more often than not, I end up not doing them or making a fool of myself. This extends from simple things like boarding a crowded bus, pinging a crush on yahoo messenger to very important decisions. This ‘eternal contemplation’ has cost me a lot. So, when I fall into such a dilemma , created by my inefficient self, I immediately recall this quote and that spurs me to action, more often than not. I noted this quote, as I said, when I went to some bank with my father(or was it LIC?). It is something I recall at least once a week, and has served me well. So it deserves to be in here.

5.Though there had been moments of beauty in it, Mariam knew that life for the most part had been unkind to her. But as she walked the final twenty paces, she could not help but wish for more of it. She wished she could see Laila again, wished to hear the clangor of her laugh, to sit with her once more for a pot of chai and leftover halwa under a starlit sky. She mourned that she would never see Aziza grow up, would not see the beautiful young woman that she would one day become, would not get to paint her hands with henna and toss candy at her wedding. She would never play with Aziza’s children. She would have liked that very much, to be old and play with Aziza’s children.Mariam wished for so much in those final moments. Yet as she closed her eyes, it was not regret any longer but a sensation of abundant peace that washed over her. She thought of her entry into this world, the harami child of a lowly villager, an unintended thing, a pitiable, regrettable accident. A weed. And yet she was leaving the world as a woman who had loved and been loved back. She was leaving it as a friend, a companion, a guardian. A mother. A person of consequence at last. No. It was not so bad, Mariam thought, that she should die this way. Not so bad. This was a legitimate end to a life of illegitimate beginnings.

- A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini

This cannot be termed a quote perhaps, not in the way this tag means it to be. It does not tell us any wordly truth, neither does it convey anything to someone who hasn’t read the book. But I just had to include something from one of the very best works I’ve read in my life. And what could be more fitting than the passage which bring tears to my eyes every time I read it?

That’s it. I’m done. This was a very hard tag to do, since I could pick only 5. I am very sad at having to leave out some classic dialogues like The Fight Club, The Godfather, The Matrix , The Shawshank Redemption and many other books and movies which I remember , yet couldn’t accomodate, and some I will remember as soon as I click this ‘Publish’ button. But that’s the way it is. .

To quote Neo in Matrix Reloaded.

Choice. The problem is choice.

PS: An open tag again .

My first tag. Damn pleased to take it up.

1. LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER: The Dark Knight. So much has been said about it. And all that has been said is the gospel truth. It’s THE movie of our generation. Like Godfather for the 70’s, Shawshank for the 90’s, the 2000’s will be remembered for the Dark Knight. Christopher Nolan is a genius.

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING: I was hit hard by the demise of the British Library and quite starved of books until recently. Dug out an old copy of Arthur Conan Doyle’s ‘The White Company’ and was halfway into it when my good friend Hari brought me 2 Chetan Bhagats. I am halfway into ‘One Night @ the Call Center’.

3. FAVORITE BOARD GAME: Chess. As a kid, I was a sucker for Ludo.

4. FAVORITE SOUNDS: My sister’s voice. Other favorite sounds include the sound of heavy rain, the roar of the Kop, the twang of the latin guitar (Check out the sound track of The Desperado or the La Liga promo of ESPNStar) and the voice of Hariharan.

5. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD: Being pubicly embarrassed in front of people who rated you somewhat. I know fear of public embarrassment is shared by most, but I take it to a whole new dimension. I am paranoid when it comes to doing anything which runs the slightest risk of being laughed at. I am not talking about stagefright, this is something else.

6. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE: I am tempted to say, ‘the possibilities the day offers’. But to be brutally honest, whether it was already 8 or would I have some more free-download time left.

7. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE - Cita Pani in Kannur. Or any Shawarma joint in Kannur. When it comes to food, I’m sorry to say, Trivandrum sucks.

8. FUTURE CHILD’S NAME: is something which involves a lot more deliberation than what is required to make a blog post.

9. FINISH THIS STATEMENT.”IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY I’D… Buy the mother of all gaming PCs, buy a few bookshops, and buy an season ticket to watch Liverpool and fly over there every week.

10. DO YOU DRIVE FAST? : As of now, no. But it’s just a matter of time. .My license is barely a month old.

11. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? : Eww. Hell No.

12. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? : Well, I hope it will be something good.. ;). The first and only car at my home is a Maruti Zen, the cute one which hit the roads before Estilo.

13. FAVORITE DRINK: Grape Juice.

14. FINISH THIS STATEMENT, “IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD…: waste it.

15. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI? : I guess not. I am the pickiest of picky eaters. Broccoli and it’s stems, whatever they may be , will find a place on my no-no list together with brinjal, cauliflower, ladies’ finger, drumstick and a dozen other vegetables and the less savory parts of meat.

16. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE? : Not to dye. Black is the best colour for hair. Any hairdresser would have to use a pitchfork at the very least, to get something done to my hair though. It’s as curly as it gets.

17. NAME ALL THE DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS YOU HAVE LIVED IN: Kannur,Thrissur,Thiruvananthapuram.

18. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH. : Football.

19. ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU: He’s more like me than most I’ve met.

20. WHAT’S UNDER YOUR BED? : Some greeting cards that mean or used to mean a lot to me.

21. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BORN AS YOURSELF AGAIN? : In a nutshell, I am being asked if I am satisfied with my life. I don’t think I can answer this one yet. I am satisfied with the gifts life has given me, but I’m yet to see what I make of them. So, I’m putting this off. But generally, Yes.

22. MORNING PERSON OR NIGHT OWL? : Ask an owl. She’d probably say she was a night-raouf. I feed on darkness. I sleep at 12 normally, any work will make me sit up to 2 and occasionally beyond.

23. FAVOURITE PLACE TO RELAX? : My bed at home with my favourite music.

24. Of all the People You Tagged This To, Who’s Most Likely To Respond First? : I am yet to develop a respectable blogging circle to pass this on. I’ll leave this tag dangling for anyone who feels like having a stab at it. Do let me know, if you do, though.